****2nd time I’ve asked this; will someone proofread. . . ?
This is very long, so if you aren’t serious about helping me with this, please stop reading.
Someone proofread this, please, tell me what you think, and if you feel it is commentary or an editorial. Thank you in advance.
January 20th 2009. The date doesn’t seem anything extraordinary; in fact it wasn’t until 1933 with the addition of the Twentieth Amendment to the United States Constitution that it became noteworthy. But on that day, a crowd of an estimated two million amassed itself around the steps of our nation’s capital while about 38. 7 million tuned in to watch the inauguration of the United States’ 44th president. So really, it’s no more extraordinary than the other forty-three days that America held presidential inaugural ceremonies.
Except this time, there was one crucial difference.
This time, an unprecedented multi-racial man, Barack Hussein Obama, was sworn in as America’s 44th president.
Obama’s inauguration was watched by the greatest number of people since Ronald Reagan. Even though live coverage began at 5:00 a. m. by the media, and excited ticketholders flooded the National Mall, the ceremony “officially” began with music from the Marine Band, the San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif. ) issued the call to order and made brief welcoming remarks. Obama then met with former president George W. Bush, who he traveled with to Capitol Hill where he was sworn in as president shortly afterward. At 10:30 a. m. Aretha Franklin sang “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”, and afterward Senator Joe Biden was sworn in as vice president by Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. The third musical interlude featured composer and Floral Park native John Williams, violinist Itzhak Perlman, cellist Yo-Yo Ma, pianist Gabriela Montero and clarinetist Anthony McGill.
Once Williams and the foursome are through playing, Obama and John Roberts, the Supreme Court’s chief justice, took center stage. Obama was sworn in with his hand on Lincoln’s Bible, but the ceremony was made slightly awkward. The whole world watched as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court recited the presidential oath incorrectly, and caused Obama to stumble. The oath was repeated in the Map Room of the White House on Obama’s second day in office. Even though Obama was President after 12:00 noon on January 20th, the administration “wanted to be sure” about the swearing in, even though Obama quipped “We repeated the process because it was so much fun. ”
Obama’s first 100 hours in office were very busy for the new White House, as the Obama administration has worked quickly to repair the damage done under the last eight years of President Bush.
As President Obama indicated in his inauguration speech, he is seeking to chart a new way forward in domestic and foreign policy. Obama has made a clean break from the Bush legacy in his early going, undertaking a number of actions that the former President would never have considered. Hours after his inauguration, Obama ordered a freeze on new regulations at all government agencies and departments and the withdrawal of all final or proposed regulations not yet published in the Federal Register, and after two days in office called on U. S. military leaders to start to plan for a responsible withdrawal. Obama signed executive orders ending the CIA’s secret prisons and ending torture by requiring interrogations to abide by the Army Field Manual, and issued new orders instructing all agencies to “adopt a presumption in favor” of FOIA requests. Obama is developing an “Open Government Directive” over the next four months.
And this is just the beginning. Maybe this time, change really has come to America.
Sounds Great!
Good Job!
The only thing’s I see are starting sentences with prepositions like and or but. That’s awesome though, and I like the ending!
Pretty good
This is a commentary piece I believe. The grammar is great, not a comma out of place. I would, however, suggest taking another look at the bit about Obama and Robert’s bit about the swearing in. The “slightly awkward” seems to sound a bit strange. Good luck.
I’m just going to copy your writing and re-do any parts I see an issue with. If you have any questions, post them and I will try to check back.
January 20th 2009. The date doesn’t seem anything extraordinary; in fact it wasn’t until 1933, with the addition of the Twentieth Amendment to the United States Constitution, that it became noteworthy. On that day, a crowd of an estimated two million amassed itself around the steps of our nation’s capital, while about 38. 7 million tuned in to watch the inauguration of the United States’ 44th president. So really, it’s no more extraordinary than the other forty-three instances that America held presidential inaugural ceremonies. Except this time, there was one crucial difference.
This time, an unprecedented multi-racial man, Barack Hussein Obama, was sworn in as America’s 44th president.
Obama’s inauguration was watched by the greatest number of people since Ronald Reagan’s. Even though live coverage began at 5:00 a. m. by the media and excited ticketholders flooded the National Mall, the ceremony “officially” began with music from the Marine Band, the San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif. ) issued the call to order and made brief welcoming remarks. Obama then met with former president George W. Bush, with whom he traveled to Capitol Hill where he was sworn in as president shortly thereafter. At 10:30 a. m. Aretha Franklin sang “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”, followed by Senator Joe Biden’s swearing in as vice president by Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. The third musical interlude featured composer and Floral Park native John Williams, violinist Itzhak Perlman, cellist Yo-Yo Ma, pianist Gabriela Montero and clarinetist Anthony McGill.
After Williams and the foursome finished their performance, Obama and John Roberts (the Supreme Court’s chief justice) took center stage. Obama was sworn in with his hand on Lincoln’s Bible, but the ceremony was slightly awkward. as the whole world watched the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court recite the presidential oath incorrectly which caused Obama to stumble. Even though Obama was President after 12:00 noon on January 20th, the administration “wanted to be sure” about the swearing in so the oath was repeated in the Map Room of the White House on Obama’s second day in office. Obama quipped “We repeated the process because it was so much fun. ”
Obama’s first 100 hours in office were very busy for the new White House, as the Obama administration began work immediately to start repairs to the damage done under the last eight years of President Bush’s presidency.
As President Obama indicated in his inauguration speech, he is seeking to chart a new way forward in domestic and foreign policy. Obama has made a clean break from the Bush legacy in his early going, undertaking a number of actions that the former President would never have considered. Hours after his inauguration, Obama ordered a freeze on new regulations at all government agencies and departments and the withdrawal of all final or proposed regulations not yet published in the Federal Register. After only two days in office, he called on U. S. military leaders to start plans for a responsible withdrawal. Obama signed executive orders ending the CIA’s secret prisons. Thereby ending torture by requiring interrogations to abide by the Army Field Manual. He then issued new orders instructing all agencies to “adopt a presumption in favor” of FOIA requests. In addition, Obama is developing an “Open Government Directive” over the next four months.
This is just the beginning. Maybe this time, change really has come to America.